Who am I? The cold, hard facts are as follows: I am a crossdresser, happily married, with no plans to either take on new lovers, take hormones, get surgery, or go full time. I've got a pretty good life, and I'm really resistant to the idea of change.

I am lucky enough to have met a wonderful woman, and she knows everything there is to know about me. And somehow, I fooled her sufficiently enough to convince her to love me back. She knew about my transgenderism from the start, as we met while I was dressed. Had I not been en femme, I would have told her.

Which brings us to: What I believe:

Theatrically? Some advice comes when you don't expect it.

Politically? This is what I believe.

Satirically? This is how I write.

It is very important for transgendered individuals to be open and honest with their spouses. If you have not told your wife about your crossdressing, you need to. It's not fair to her. There are few resources available to help, but those that are in existence are rather good. I co-moderate a YAHOO group that is a fantastic support group for married couples with TG issues. There are both open and closeted crossdressers, and spouses, taking part in discussions. There are reasons why one should come out, and advice on how to do it, and stay together.

However, in order to get these grass roots efforts going, first, we must overcome the self-loathing, the guilt, and our own misconceptions. Misconceptions? Like the idea that crossdressing is all about sex.

Don't get me wrong. Sex is natural, sex is fun. Dressing and sex can be quite healthy. But, there's more to this life than sex. To dress up with the sole purpose of masterbating, or getting some, is wasteful. I think for many TG people, they first really discover gender-bending at the same time their horomones are raging; in their teenage years. I think many of us tie the 2 together. Panties and masterbation. And of those, many keep putting on the dresses, but slowly lose the sexual aspect. Others go through life tying the two together. And when orgasm has been attained, the lingerie goes back in the closet, and the guilt comes back out. This kind of attitude, this way of thinking will never do anyone any good. If a t-girl doesn't get past this stage, they'll never grow; never be happy with themself.

And crossdressers who are disgusted with themselves will never be able to present a positive image to anyone else. It's that positive image that will win us a world where we can be ourselves without fear of judgement or hatred.

So, here's where I get hypocritical. Am I Out to the world? Am I presenting the positive image of a self-assured t-girl to everyone I meet every day? Nope. I'm rather closeted. My family doesn't know. My co-workers don't know. Most of my non-TG friends do know, but it's not a topic that comes up often, as they're not all that comfortable with the idea. (Unfortunately, I came out to many of them before I was knowledgable and happy with myself. It's rather difficult to undo some things. You NEVER get a second chance to make a first impression.)

So, how I can sit here believing what I do, when I don't always practice what I preach? Social change takes time. Attitudes don't change overnight. I could stand on a mountaintop, demanding that the world accept me as I am. But, it's not going to do much good. I'd rather direct my efforts to something I can effect. Simply put, my goal is not to change the non-TG world, but to help younger generations of t-girls be happier with themselves so THEY can change the world.

While most of this homepage is devoted to my growing vanity, there is a serious reason to put up something like this. When I was in college and first discovering the meaning of those 'strange feelings', there weren't a great deal of resources open to me. I was limited to second-rate porn and the occasional letter to Dear Abby. I eventually discovered some quality publications, and later was able to join the River City Gender Alliance. Unfortunately, LadyLike only came every 3 months, and the RCGA was a good distance away.

Had I had access to the Internet like I do now, those painful moments, those questions, that loneliness could have been lessened. Even now, just to see the homepages of thousands of sisters brings me up during down- times. I hope other sisters, just coming out, are able to use the 'Net to its fullest potential. It's true: We are not alone, and other people's websites are proof!

I think an important part of life is balance. In order to feel happy, you have to know sadness. Pleasure comes at the end of pain. Light is dependent upon dark for definition. Good and evil, Republican and Democrat, meat and potatoes, brimstone and treacle. They all depend on the existence of the other. It's a dual world we live in. Duality also includes the face we present to the world, as well as that we have internally.

I've received a couple of e-mails inquiring about my dating status. Do I date men, women, other T's? Nope. Happily married. Am I attracted to men or women or other T's? Yes and no. I am traditionally attracted to individuals, not to what someone wears or identifies with. I am attracted to what's between someone's ears, not what's between their legs.

I did not wake up one day and find Ronnie there in the closet. She grew over time, and many of the people that helped with that process can be found on the THANKS page...please pay your respects to them.

I'd love to hear your comments and opinions. Please e-mail me!